Patrick Steadman
I most recently worked as a platform engineer at Sotheby's.
I also co-founded Computer Lab, a consultancy that helps artists and creative organizations execute software projects.
Our best-known product is AccessKit, a tool museums use to provision video installations with accessibility features like multi-lingual captions and real-time audio descriptions.
Writing
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How to Help a
Stringfoot Pigeon
How to give pigeons with entangled toes a life-saving pedicure.
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Advanced
Persistent Threats in the Arts
Recent examples of shadowy arts funding and hacking attacks on culture organizations hint at how nation-state level actors can corrupt or disrupt culture around the world.
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(Don't) be the Gray Man
An overview of the "gray man" survival strategy.
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A Critique of Vulnerability
Four types of vulnerability that you shouldn't lean into.
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Pattern Language
Exploring the patterns that make buildings, software, and art feel alive.
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Summer of KMS
A story about entropy and surveillance published in Wu-Wei Fashion Magazine.
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The Millennial Deep State
A presentation made at the Millennial Focus Group in April, 2016.
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College Memoir
A novella about the fantasy world of athletics and academics.
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Best Stories Online
Shocking news, stories, thoughts, and videos.
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Tapei New Life Road
A photo essay about exploring drainage tunnels in Taipei.
Programming
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Kill My Slack
A little JavaScript function that (temporarily?) deactivates all users in a Slack.
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Pigeon Sounds HD
The Pigeon Sounds HD app puts eight high-quality pigeon field recordings in your pocket.
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Hexo Corporate Theme
A theme that you can use to make your company seem legit.
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Kaboodle, A DIY Ad Server
A script that puts fake ads on your site to make it look legit.
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Google Search Twitter Feed
From May 2015 to July 2016 all my Google searches were published in real time.
Other
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Chinese
Software Engineering Terminology Flashcards
400+ Anki flashcards for Chinese vocab used in software development and project management.
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Meet The DIY Ravers Giving Free Masks to Every New Yorker
Vice Magazine, April 2020
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A Bunch of People, From Professors To Diplo, Consider The TikTok Craze
Interview Magazine, April 2020
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Bot Poetry at the SFPC
0x0a, October 2015
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EXCLUSIVE: This Bushwick engineer built a WICKEDLY good Daily Mail parody site
Technical.ly, August 2015
Last Updated: October 16th, 2025